


Not your soulmate

by RebeccaAnabelBurrows



Series: Of Dark Knights and Green Lanterns [4]
Category: DCU, Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bruce is a bit of an idiot, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, M/M, Minor Character Death, but Hal is awesome, but not really, well you'll see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23067292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebeccaAnabelBurrows/pseuds/RebeccaAnabelBurrows
Summary: Soulmates AU oneshot.-Soulmates weren't a big thing in the League.Some talked about theirs but many kept quiet about it. Most didn't know theirs or both of them worked for the League. It wasn't a very conventional life."You don't want to find yours."Something must have given him away. His lack of interest in the subject probably. Hal sighed."It's complicated." he said."You have mixed feelings about meeting them, in case they don't like you or you don't like them. I get it. It's scary."
Relationships: Hal Jordan/Bruce Wayne, mentions of past relationships
Series: Of Dark Knights and Green Lanterns [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1645951
Comments: 2
Kudos: 235





	Not your soulmate

Hal's soulmate died in a car crash about three months after they met at a party when they were barely 19.  
Her name was Becky. She had short curly hair, a round face and an infectious laugh. 

Becky Abernathy was lovely and funny and kind. 

She told the best stories, and Hal was quite certain she made half of them up but when he asked her about it, she just shrugged and said they were "real enough".

She wrote song's lyrics in sharpie on Hal's arms or her own when she was bored. 

They only had been on a few dates before her death but Hal had felt drawn to her. Things seemed more intense at her side. 

On their third date, she had kissed him. It had been a lovely moment. He had gotten lost under her touch.

Her loss had been tragic. Hal could tell he had been falling in love with her, and in any event she had been his soulmate.

She had spent the night before her death with Hal. Their first night together. They hadn't had sex - from what Hal had gathered it wasn’t even a thing Becky was much into -, they had just slept in each other's arms in Hal's tiny flat. 

Hal was at work when he learnt the news. Four college students had died when their car had been hit by a truck driven by a negligent man.

The next days had passed in a blur but Hal remembered the funeral. 

There were so many teenagers and young adults, some of them pretty drunk, you would have believed it was a college party if they weren't all wearing dark clothes and long faces.

Becky's friends from art school had painted a giant portrait of her, so full of life it was painful to look at. The portrait had been gifted to her parents. Hal wondered which one had kept it after their divorce.

Hal had said a few words, all as empty as he felt.

"She deserved better." he had concluded at the end of his speech.

She had been so young. They had been so young.  
He had barely known her, weren't soulmates supposed to have a lifetime to know each other ? 

After his girlfriend's untimely death, Hal had researched soulmates with a fervor that his friends had described as unhealthy. Hal didn't care. He needed to understand - and focusing on their bound allowed him not to think too much about the crash.

Two years later, Hal had read up most of the things he could find on soulmates. 

Contrary to what most people seemed to think and Hal himself had been told, recent studies had shown that soulbounds weren't necessarily of a romantic kind.

Hal had wondered if Becky's and his was a romantic one. If romance even had anything to do with soulmates, or if it was the intimate nature of soulbounds that provided a push in that direction for some. 

Hal hadn't fallen in love with Becky the first time he had seen her, or even touched her. He had felt the urge to know her, to find out who she was immediately but he only had fallen in love with her when they kept seeing each other.

He also had found out that some people didn't have soulmates - no mark on their bodies identical to someone else's. Hal had looked at the fairer skin on his forearm that used to be a straight black line and wondered what it would have been like, not having a soulmate.

Would he have talked and danced with Becky if he hadn't seen her mark ? He closed his eyes. He could see how Becky had looked then,in her favorite tank top and jeans. Maybe he would have. He liked to think he would have.

Anyway, not having a soulmate didn't seem to be something to look forward to. Hal hadn't even known it was a possibility but it actually made sense since people hid that fact usually.

Well from what Hal had read on the subject , that was a logical move. Articles and studies seemed prejudiced against it. They called people unable to soulbound untrustworthy, unlovable and dangerous. 

Which was a bit surprising, because there was nothing but praise for those who had lost their soulmates and found themselves in a similar situation - without a soulmate at their side. 

As long as they stayed faithful to said soulmates, anyway. Hal had heard women being called the worst names for marrying again after their soulmate's passing. Men too, but not as often.

It hurt. At 21, Hal didn't feel like marrying anyone, but in ten years ? Becky had been his soulmate, he had even loved her, but it didn't mean he had to go through life alone now that she was dead, right ? She wouldn't wish that, surely ? Hal wouldn't have wished that for her. 

Being soulmates wasn't a free ticket for happiness, anyway. People abused their soulmates, neglected them or killed them all the time. Not that Hal thought Becky and him would have turned out like that. He just failed to see how having a soulmate made you a better person.

So Hal had put a stop to his research and had allowed himself to grieve properly.

He had become a pilot as he had always wanted to. The ring had found him and he had joined the Lantern Corps. 

He had been enrolled into the Justice League alongside aliens and enhanced humans. 

Along the way, he had dated some women and even fewer men - but most found it wrong that he "slept around" after his soulmate's death - pretty ironic from people with living soulmates - so he told his conquests he hadn't found his soulmate yet now. 

He also had made some good friends - Barry, Dinah and Oliver - and had a good relationship with most of his teammates.

He had a good life.

"Maybe your soulmate is an alien." Diana had suggested once, when he had told her he didn't know them yet. 

Hal had rolled his eyes. He was glad they hadn't been. Aliens were so much more complicated than humans.

"Maybe it's you." he had said to annoy her.

"If it is, I am sorry for you." she had answered back, pushing her hair away to show him a symbol on her temple.

It was familiar, Hal had already seen the double half-diamond on another of his teammates' face. 

He was lucky his own mark hadn't been on his face, people didn't know for sure when they saw the whitened skin on his arm but some wondered - that was why he wore long sleeves more often than not now.

"Does he know ?" Hal had asked finally. 

Diana's mark had disappeared again under her hair.

"No. I think we're great as we are for now." she said firmly.

Hal had nodded supportingly. He didn't judge. Soulmates weren't a big thing in the League.

Some talked about theirs but many kept quiet about it. Most didn't know theirs or both of them worked for the League. It wasn't a very conventional life and some superheroes ignored their soulmates to spare them.

"You don't want to find yours."

Something must have given him away. His lack of interest in the subject probably. Hal sighed.

"It's complicated." he said.

"You have mixed feelings about meeting them, in case they don't like you or you don't like them. I get it. It's scary."

Hal hummed. It hadn't been scary with Becky, but he had been younger then. More careless, less guarded. He could understand why it was difficult for Diana.

"You know he likes you." he added for her benefit.

She didn't seem to like that.

"I don't want to talk about it." she said, frowning.

"Good. Me neither."

No one mentioned soulmates around Hal for a while, and he was grateful for it.

After an alien invasion in Gotham, Hal started a relationship with Bruce. Well, relationship… Hal wouldn't call them a couple per se and he was certain Bruce wouldn't either. 

They met occasionally outside of the Watchtower. At first, they used excuses but there were only so many files you could drop or additional reports you could make and they stopped when they grew more comfortable with their attraction.

Hal dropped by whenever he felt like it and Bruce texted him when he wanted him at Wayne Manor.

Bruce never asked about Hal's soulmate. Not that Hal asked about his, but it was a relief.

They always made love in the dark, and even if Hal would have liked to see Bruce's face when he cried out his name he was glad for it because it meant Bruce couldn't see the blemish where Hal's mark had been. Hal had no doubt that he would know what caused it. Would investigate, even.

Months passed and their arrangement held. Sometimes, Hal would spend the whole night. The first time had been an accident, Hal had just closed his eyes a second and woke up, alone in Bruce's bed, at 7 A.M. . He had freaked out and had just put his clothes on in the hope he could sneak out and they wouldn't have to talk about it when someone had knocked.

It was Alfred, who explained that Bruce had been called elsewhere but that breakfast was ready. Hal had gaped at him the whole time.

The next time he saw Bruce in an intimate context, the vigilante asserted that he didn't mind if Hal wanted to stay. Hal had declined.

A few weeks after that, Bruce had asked him to, either because he had realized Hal would never take him on his offer otherwise or because he didn't feel like sleeping alone - civilians had died that day.

After, it became more and more common. Hal stayed, woke up alone and ate breakfast in Wayne's Manor. He thanked Alfred, left, and went on with his day. 

It didn't happen in the first months, but after some time Hal started waking up with Bruce sleeping on the other side of the bed. Hal cherished those moments. And was a bit uneasy about them, careful to hide the inside of his left forearm when the sun rose.

Inevitably, Bruce would wake up mere seconds after Hal. They would smile at each other, kiss and have a bit of fun sometimes and dress up to share breakfast. Hal stole food from Bruce's plate and the man acted annoyed and slapped his hands away even if Hal could tell his eyes were smiling.

It stayed that way for a while. Bruce and Hal had been seeing each other for a bit more than a year when Hal woke up to see Bruce looking at him, contemplative. 

He reached for Bruce's face and stroked his jaw gently.  
It was too dark for him to see the details of his teammate's face, and that might be why he dared saying it.

"I love you." he said quietly.

He couldn't contain the information anymore, it had to be said. He could feel Bruce tensing and shifting beside him.

"It's just -"

Hal bit his tongue before saying something that would make it worse, if it was possible to make it worse. They had both sat up but neither had put the lights on.

"Hal, I am not your soulmate." Bruce had said slowly, almost drawled. 

Hal could swear his face was an impassive mask even if he couldn't see it. He felt the urge to shake Bruce, to make him feel something, but he didn’t.

Instead he stood and switched the light on before coming back to bed, near his partner. Who blinked twice but didn't seem more moved than that.  
Hal sat on the bed, took notice of old scars on his lover's body he had never seen before.

"Sure. My soulmate's a 5'3'' tall art student. And she's been dead for a decade and a half." he said before showing his forearm to Bruce - or rather shoving it in his face.

The Green Lantern braced himself, looking straight at the ceiling. Bruce stayed silent for a bit. Hal didn't even bother to look at him. He was afraid of what he could read on the man's face. He was becoming good at reading Bruce's expressions, at noticing his tells.

It hurt. Not as much as learning that your soulmate died a week before her twentieth birthday though. Only Hal's feelings had been hurt. Nobody died. But it hurt. 

"Fine, I'll take my stuff. I should have told you, I guess. Just, don't tell the League."

Hal was halfway to the door when his lover stopped him.

"Hal, please. I - I don't have a soulmate."

His voice didn't quiver but he looked very tense. Waiting, like Hal had been before, for his sentence.

"You - I am sorry, Bruce." he said quietly. 

Bruce sighed, rubbed his eyes. It had been a nice morning, him taking comfort in Hal's presence in the bed.

"I am sorry too. You must have been very young."

Hal smiled sadly. So young and full of life.

"I had only known her for three months when Becky died, but she was special." he admitted.

He remembered watching her paint. She often ended up with paint in her hair, and instead of washing it off, she usually just cut the offending strand of hair. It made her hair look weird but she couldn’t care less. Hal had never let her go close to his hair with a pair of scissors though. She was too much of a hazard. 

"You loved her." Bruce stated.

Hal looked straight at him. Something in Bruce’s voice seemed off. 

"I had just started falling in love with her. We didn't have much time together but we thought alike and she was a great person. But she died and I had to move on." Hal said.

Bruce looked at him strangely. Hal couldn't analyze his expression.

"But she was your soulmate." Bruce insisted after a while, lowering his eyes.

Great. Hal had to be in a relationship with someone who thought that you should mourn your soulmate forever and never touch another person until you died of a broken heart. To be fair, most of the planet thought that, but still.

"It only means that I would always remember her and miss her. Not that I would be unable to fall in love again. We were friends for longer than we were a couple, anyway." he explained.

"Did you mean it when you said you loved me ?"

Hal laughed. He had been scared to say it, and he had been right to be. It was like Bruce couldn’t get his head around the concept.

"No, I thought it was a funny thing to say. You know I meant it. I still mean it. Soulmates aren't everything."

Hal was getting angry. He had pretended that it didn’t affect him that society kept dismissing his feelings for so long, and now he had to deal with Bruce dismissing it. How nice.

"You don't know about that." Bruce had said.

Hal’s answer was filled with barely contained rage. His hands were gripping at Bruce’s bare shoulders tightly. A bit too tightly for comfort, probably.

"I have lived without a soulmate for the last sixteen years. I have friends, a dream job, I am a Lantern, I am part of the League and until now I had whatever our relationship was. I think about her sometimes but I am also happy, even without her. You make me happy, even if you're not her."

Hal took a breath, trying to keep calm. Bruce looked like he was about to talk but Hal stopped him.

"Listen, I don't know how difficult not having a soulmate can be. But it's fine. Not being soulbound doesn't mean you can't feel, by the way. And Bruce ? Regardless of your soulmate's status and mine, I expected you to say you loved me back." 

Hal pulled away from his lover and almost ran into Alfred on his way out, not giving Bruce the chance to answer - he had said enough.

"Master Jordan -" 

Hal patted the butler's shoulder friendly but didn’t stop. He had to get out of here.

"Not now, Alfred."

Hal was barely out of the Manor when he got a message from the Watchtower. 

*Reminder : JL meeting in 30 minutes*

Hal groaned. He didn't have time to shower or even change. He was careful not to be there early though because Bruce was known to always be the first to be there and he didn't wish for a repetition of this morning's conversation. Hence why Hal ran five minutes late, which would undoubtely irritate Bruce. 

He said hi quickly and took a chair before realizing he hadn’t interrupted anything.

"Thank you but you shouldn't have waited for me to start the meeting." he said, urging Clark to talk.

"Well, you're not the only one running late." Barry explained.

Of course they would have started the meeting if he was the only one missing.

"Who - oh."

Of course. A look around the table and he couldn't miss Bruce's absence. Fantastic. Was he sulking in his room ? Hal refrained to bang his head against the table. 

"We were hoping you knew -" Diana started, and Hal felt it was going to be a funny conversation.

However, he didn’t have to answer, which was a real relief because nobody here knew Bruce and him dated. Well, Superman might but not because they advertised it. 

"I apologize." Bruce said, entering the room into Batman's suit, cutting the speculations short.

Hal crossed his arms on his chest.

He didn't listen to a word that was said or he would have escaped the second Superman announced the end of the meeting. Instead, he was cornered by Batman.

"A word ?" the vigilante asked, in a tone too casual to be casual. 

Superman was the only one lingering there. A glare from Batman and he was out of the room. 

"I'd lie if I said you didn't hurt my feelings but I'd like to go home, take a shower and self-wallow in peace." Hal said softly.

The room had emptied. Bruce took off his cowl - Hal had a preference for him being just Bruce for personal conversations and Bruce often respected this wish. 

"Please let me talk to you first."

Hal hesitated for a second before letting go of his Lantern looks, granting Bruce the courtesy of not hiding behind his mask either.

"Go on. Try to make it short."

Bruce nodded sharply. Sharply was a good adverb for Bruce. If you went too close, you cut yourself and Hal had taken too much time to realize it.

"I am sorry for this morning. I needed time. And Alfred talking some sense into me, I guess." Bruce added as an afterthought.

He seemed embarrassed but Hal smiled genuinely. 

"Wait, you were late because Alfred was scolding you ? Tell me I can find a videofeed. I love that guy." he said.

For a few seconds, the both of them were silent. Then Bruce started to speak his mind.

"Hal, what you said - I don't want you to think that I don't care about you. I love you. I do."

Hal had known that, more or less. Hearing it wasn’t the same thing, though - it was much better, so much more real. It made him feel warm. Also he couldn’t help but feel relieved that Bruce knew it too. But if he knew it, what stopped him to just say it ? 

"Then what's wrong ?" he asked, frustration radiating from him. 

He had grabbed his teammate’s arms, not allowing him to run away from him without a decent explanation, which Bruce was prompt to do when dealing with emotions.  
Not that he was the one who had fled this morning.

"I can't compete with your soulmate." Bruce finally said between his teeth.

Hal took his face into his hands, making their eyes meet.

"Becky's dead, and I think she wouldn’t mind me having a second chance at happiness, even if it’s with someone else. Right now, you're the one I am in love with, not her. Maybe people you dated were jerks and made you feel second best to their soulmates in the past, but I won't. We love each other, soulmates or not. Do you think you would have loved a soulmate more than you love me ?"

Bruce shook his head.

"So why do you think I love her more ? Soulbounds encourage love but they don't create it. You can love people who aren't your soulmates. Fall in love with them, even. So can I. Trust me on this."

Bruce looked more confident, now.

"I'll try, if you let me." he said, taking Hal’s hand in his.

"Okay. We can do this, but I don't want to keep our relationship under wraps anymore. Not with the Justice League at least. I am not your random hook-up anymore."

"You never were. As for the big relationship reveal, I think it had been taken care of. Well, not entirely but word will spread." Bruce stated, looking pointedly behind Hal.

The Green Lantern turned around. Diana and Barry were by the door, gaping.

Hal rubbed his eyes.

"How long have they been here ?" he asked tiredly.

"Since we’ve finished talking about soulmates." Bruce replied, low enough that Hal was the only one who could hear it.

They might not be ready to have this conversation with their teammates yet.

"Do you want popcorn too ?" Hal asked, raising his voice.

The eavesdropper had the courtesy to blush. They were in civilian clothes, Hal noticed. 

"Er - we were heading to a bar and thought you might want to come along. But it's okay if you're busy." Barry said quickly. 

Hal and Bruce's eyes met with a new intensity.

"We're busy." Hal confirmed, and their teammates, for a lack of a better word, fled from the room, closing the door behind them quickly.

"We are ?" Bruce asked, his eyes still on Hal's but his lips wandering on the inside of his lover's forearm that he had just liberated from Hal’s long sleeved shirt.

Hal shivered. All his previous lovers who had been aware of his faded mark had avoided touching it. Bruce was showering it with kisses.

"We could be." Hal said, and he could feel his teammate's smirk against his warming skin.


End file.
